Betting On Myself

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The Problem

Things are crazy in my professional life right now.  My “day job” is in shambles (from my perspective to them everything is the best it’s ever been or at least that’s the party line they are sticking too) and since that’s forty hours of my work week my emotional/mental life is shredded.  I feel like half a person, and that person is always on the attack, hunting for weaknesses in others to pounce on.  There’s no turning the snarky, angry, lashing aspect of myself off.  Something people don’t get: if you are a compassionate intuitive soul, you can take that knowledge and use it to be vicious.

In the middle of what for me is the worst three going on four months I’ve experienced in the last five years, I have to step back and ask myself “What can I do?”  I can’t change the policies happening at my work.  I can’t control how they are implemented.  I can’t force peers, superiors, or team members below me to be the right people to enact this cultural shift within the company.  But if you know me, there is no way in hell, I will sit back and let them wreck me without pushing back.

The Solution 

So first of the all, I’ve rejected the incompetent management and have turned around to challenge every move they make, using their own guide against them.  If I have to follow these rules, everyone will get on page now.  I will not struggle while everyone else tells me that “this is different”, and it’s “just this once”.


How I'm Choosing Me First

It’s time to come back to what I love.  What makes me passionate is writing.  I’m turning inward, back to words, and I’m turning all that frantic energy into creating space for my creative work to stand.

I’m unhappy, but part of me sees this work drama is the best thing that could have happened.  Nothing short of working at a huge corporate place that’s just shitting all over itself would have made me say: “If this is a thing, then I’m rejecting you and going back to my base.”

I’ve done a lot and continue to do a lot since I’ve turned back to reading and writing.  I’m reading more now than I ever have in my adult life, and I love that part of my life (check out my Goodreads reviews and stats here and see my "Best of Kindle Unlimited Series").  I’m writing (though mostly blogs and tweets) about 10,000 words a week.  My blog(s) pre-scheduled posts are insane.

I tried something new with the Writers’ Group where we each share a Halloween based flash fiction this month.  Chris Palmer finished and scheduled his story first.  Can I say, I appreciate how my fellow writers are stepping in and joining me on this new adventure?  I can’t express how grateful

I’ve noticed this conversation game trend on Twitter and I want in on that.  Right now I play with #theMerryWriter and #authorconfession but I’d like to play in some other Hashtag parties/conversations and I would LOVE to host a Hashtag game through NAWG.

I have more ideas and more planning than ever in my creative writing life.  I’m working in a class (the class itself isn’t going great, I’m waiting to give a full review), trying to get beta reading for the second draft of my novel “Follow Me: Tattered Veils”.  While discussing the book with my friend Ashley Sanders, I had a major break through.  Now I know what I need to do to pull the work together that I am beyond excited to dig in and execute.

Ashley and I are also experimenting with running our own writing class.  We’re talking structure and what value we could add to other writers along with all the inspiration they may bring us.  I can’t wait to work with her.  We have a very similar process and goals for our novels, and I’d love to help other people work through what their goals are.

I have an outline for a co-writing novel gig called “Familiar” with a friend in the North Alabama Writers’ Group and I’m thrilled to bits about working more with the wonderful Zach Standfield to create something cool together.

I have never chased so many avenues at once and it’s occurred to me that my job and my lack joy in my professional life brought me to a place where I had to roll the dice on my projects I'm passion about that I would normally keep as quiet background gigs.  My story telling, my ideas, my ability to network.  Stuff I’m “good” at that I figured would never amount to anything.  It feels powerful to see how things I love could bring me an ounce of professional success.  All my life, people have told me my writing would “never amount to anything” and that I “should focus on something that will make me financially stable.”  Here I am, at the worst point in my professional career, with nothing to draw on.  In desperation, I‘ve opened myself up to this blogging, social media, creative writing thing, and it seems like these “useless“ skill set has breathed new life in me.

The path to monetization is opening and new opportunities rise on the horizon.  They are taking time and persistence, but I’m seeing incremental steps towards my long-term goals. It feels like I’m proving all those people who told me my skills and me through association were “nothing special” and “not valuable” wrong.

Have you ever been in a terrible situation at your job or life where you needed to get out?  What did you do?  Are there other angles I’m not exploring?  Did you ever follow your passion regardless of the money or the risk?  What was the outcome?  Do you have advice/regrets/victory stories?  Talk to me.

The Merry Writer: Do you Even Collaborative Write Bro?

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The Merry Writer has a fun daily question for writers I wanted to try getting in on.  Check out Ari Meghlen's blog and Twitter along with the Hashtags #themerrywriter where you can see everyone's responses.

Have you ever/would you ever collaborate with another writer?

Yes.  I LOVE collaborative writing.  Starting in fourth grade, I created skits and scripts with a group of friends.  In high school two friends and I had a series of notebooks where we told each other ridiculous stories and would try to take over the story.   During college, I wrote poems, scripts, and short stories with friends and assigned partners.

In writers' group we have an exercise where one person starts a prompt and after fifteen minutes someone else has to take it over. It's silly fun, and it pushes story creation forward faster than I could produce on my own.  If you can find a friend, associate, or partner you trust, then working together and letting them steer the parts you don't know how to navigate is perfect.

We always talk about how writing is solitary, but I don't think it is.  Even stuff I "write" on my own, someone else proofreads, edits, and suggests.  One day, I hope someone else will publish it for me so I don't have to shoulder that burden and someone else will help me market the story.  Working with others to achieve a mutual goal is a collaboration and all of it qualifies as a writing project.  

Co-writing something helps prepare a writer for the kinds of cooperative relationships he or she will need to create, edit, and sell a book.  It shows you know how to be a good part of a team and it may help you develop new skill sets.

Would I work with someone else on a future endeavor?  I'd love too.  One reason I'm taking over the "face" of my writers group is because I like reaching out and helping others.  I like hearing about others creative works, asking questions, making suggestions, and when others let me, I'm happy to leave a fingerprint or two.

Talk to me.  Do you like collaborating with others, or do you keep you work to yourself? I want to hear about your process ^_^

Putting On My War Paint: Time To Twitter

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Two years ago, I began an ill-advised campaign to write/freelance blog/publish a book.  I bit off way more than I could chew.  My goals were too broad, and I added in more things I "had" to do too often. I decided the whole circus wasn't for me.  Instead, I focused on my writing, I reached out to agents, and got grass roots and joined a local writers' group.  

Well, I'm back at it again, trying to make something work.  What different this time?

First, my goals are more limited.  I'm looking to create a genuine community and audience for my creative writing endeavors.  

Second, I'll work with a team of fellow local writers trying to stir interest in our different projects instead of trying to shoulder all the work on my own.

Third, I've got a very strict schedule I plan to adhere to.

I will pursue audience by:

1. Posting in The North Alabama Writers' Group Blog, writers group blog I hope my fellow writers will join me in maintaining.  I've been curating it for the last year.  If the blog was a plant, it wouldn't survive my tender care, even if it was a cactus.  20 posts in 33 weeks sounds ok, but the spacing is fubar-ed.  Nothing between April until July and now I'm blitzing posts every four days.  Pacing in my social engineering needs some fine tuning.

2. Reviving my Twitter account and trying to mobilize old contacts while also making new contacts.  Of social media, Twitter seems to be the most manageable for me.   Short bursts into the void seems more tolerable.

 My previous attempts saw scattered successes.  This time, I have a specific plan for each day that should help me interact in ways that will be more meaningful but also be fun.  I also think Twitter will be less frustrating this time vs my last attempt.  The goal this time is to interact with people and show a little of who I am where the goal last time was to funnel traffic to the blog.  It's cool if you guys come to the blog, but I'm not in Twitter for that.

3. Bringing this blog back as a recording tool to track success/failure.  I love analytics and I know there have to be dozens of others who would show up for the statistic updates.  Beyond what interests others, there's something about complete statistical transparency that feels good.  It's a weird moral high ground, but if it makes me happy and accomplished, why not?

4. I will also use the pages option in this blog to create an organized collection of resources I use for writing, measuring analytics, doing the social media, and so on.  It would be soooo cool if this kind of researching helped others, but the pages would be a success if I didn't have to hunt and peck all the time for stuff I half remember once having a link and description to.

5. I will reinvest in my creative writing by taking a work shopping class.  I miss the creative writing classes I took in college and the structure might give me the kick in the butt I need to produce again.  Tired of standing in one place.

6. Write!  The workshop should help but key to the "revive my social media to gain audience" campaign is the assumption I have stories ready to share.

Writers' and Editors Blogs I Read

This list in alphabetical order.

Alexander M. Zotari "Notes from an Alien":This blog centers around book and writing questions/topics Zotari wants to explore.  He only brings the conversation forward if people engage with his posts.  A wonderful way to bring in interested lurkers, though it sometimes leads to repetitive posts.  I enjoy seeing quiet people come out and post, and "Notes from an Alien" succeeds in catching many people's thoughts.

Ari Meghlen: She is a writer and outside of blogging focuses in the fantasy genre.  She gives excellent advice on how to start up an organized writing routine.  She shares her personal writing goals, she updates with her progress, she is one of the hosts of #themerrywriter on Twitter.  Her style is to the point and very approachable.  She's also building a job info list resource for writers.

Cal P. Logan: As I add this entry, he's just getting his blog up and running.  It looks like it will revolve around indie author book reviews as well as some notes on his querying/writing process.  I'm curious to read more

Christopher Graham: Has "The Reading Ape'd blog where he offers a lot of how to's that will interest authors.  I struggle navigating his site as the layout while very good is not intuitive to me, but his articles are worth the work.

Elna Cain: She is a freelance writer who manages I believe four blogs along with her freelance posts. I enjoy her post layouts and while some of her tips/tricks/suggestions are generic, I like how positive and persistent she is.  You can see that she has personally used her own techniques to gain success.

Hannah Heath: a writer who blogs on building one's platform and gives writing advice.  Fun and to the point blog style with a clean visually pleasing blog home.

Jacob Brundle: He promotes his upcoming publication and he writes about different ways to approach the creative process and how that may impact your progress/ you work.  He has a very clean blog with an engaging style.

Jeffrey A. Moulton: He has an interesting quirky blog style that's most at home with the speculation I enjoy in good science fiction.  His style connects odd outside inputs together for interesting conversation and writing prompt fodder.  Fun and offbeat on his blog with dark horror present in his novels.

Joy D Fanning: An aspiring writer she creates content related to the writing process and preparing to write/publish a major project.  As another writer seeking publication, I have a lot in common with her only her chosen genre is science fiction.  She's also part of a blogging collaborative "The Aspiring Author Blog"

Just Publishing Advice: The title says some of it.  This blog gives publishing advice, grammar advise, advertising advice and social media advice.  All interesting and easy to implement.

K. Kris Loomis: An eclectic writer who creates both fiction and non fiction.  She's into reading, yoga, and self care along with helpful suggestions on how to interact with others and build your presence authentically.

K.M. Weiland: author who provides step by step guides and advice to completing creative writing projects and seeing publication through.

Lauren Sapala: is a writer who focuses on the writing and publishing market specifically from the perspective of a highly sensitive personality type.  She approaches problems/issues/concerns from a deeply empathetic core and often provides more sympathizing that step by step advice.  She is patient, well spoken, and encouraging.  Her writing style speaks to me and is very engaging.

Lionel Ray Green: a local writer who encourages me and shares his writing breakthroughs with me. His blog is an eclectic mix of observations, reviews, and market announcements.  He has insight specifically in the horror market.

Morgan Wright: An up and coming author with an amazing twitter presence and what seems to be an extensive, growing blog presence.  I enjoy her layouts and services so I keep and eye on this blog even though these isn't presently much to talk about

Nat Russo: a writer who offers writing advise to other writers.  His book series is fantasy and currently on my "to be read" list.  I enjoy his advise and presence.

The North Alabama Writers' Group: A blog I curate with my writers group.  We post flash fiction, writing exercises, book reviews, and random writing topics we usually talk about in writers group.

An Outsider's Way: a writer's blog about natural healing and poetry.  It's more a spiritual vibe I enjoy that direct advice.  Still pretty writing and worth a peak.

Planet Simon: A fiction writer with insights into the science fiction/fantasy genre.  His site has a wonderful layout and a simple friendly style.

Polar Bear Editing: offers editing and publishing services and as such the blog specializes in publishing/editing advice.  Has a lot of delightful humor in it and fun graphics.  Also hits topical self published books pontoon out the good and bad.


Rachel Poli:  She is a writer who offers advice over different writing hurdles, advertises contests, flash, writes reviews, presents open calls of submission, and also hosts #themerrywriter on Twitter

Stefanie Sears: A freelance creative who blogs her own personal journey and accomplishments.  I enjoy watching her progress and gleaning ideas from her progress as I hope others find in my recording with this blog.

T.A. White: an author I found through her "Dragon Ridden Series" on Kindle Unlimited.  Her blog focuses on updates of the three series she's juggling the release of.  The woman is a machine and an inspiration for anyone looking to publish fantasy in today's market.

Women Writers, Women['s] Books: Love, love, love this blog site.  It offers encouraging and helpful information for all writers and it features female writers and their journey specifically.  It's easy to hear about Stephen King's thoughts, but where is the female experience.  I see Margret Atwood and Amy Tang quotes and advice once in a while, but it's nice to always have a sight I can go to to hear my fellows talk about their struggles in the industry or in their own work.

Writer Writer: a new blog created by Morgan Wright and David Collins.  They have short story contests where they publish the final work for free to their blog.  Views are public knowledge on their blog so you can decide if the potential exposure is worth "giving away" the story.  They also have resources for fellow writers to check out including books, worksheets, and articles.